Day One Hundred Three.

The end of a great year!

This year was filled with more high points than low points as Jason and I were able to spend the majority of it together. I believe each month held something special for each of us or one of us though!

January - Jason made my birthday the best one yet. He baked my favorite cake all on his own complete with pink candles and took me out to dinner. I was still a little home sick, but he did all he could to make that day special. This month I also started working for the ASYMCA for Operation Hero. An amazing job!

February - We hosted a part for the super Bowl that turned out to be a great time. We spent Valentine's day in front of our new Wii that we got that day after waiting weeks. This was the month Jason also went to the board for promotion!

March - Jason gets promoted! My mom also came to visit and I was able to spend a week with her during her spring break after being apart for six months. It was a great time.

April - Jason and my mom left the same day and it was my first time being on my own since moving to Alaska. I was able to go visit Jason on a long weekend in Anchorage during this month. He was gone for all of April, but that weekend we spent together was one of my favorite memories this year.

May - Jason came back home and we went to our first military ball together this month.

June - We celebrated Jason's 25th birthday. My mom came back up for a ten day visit with my dad and I hadn't scene him in nine months. We spent a ton of time during those days enjoying Alaska and seeing things we hadn't been able to. This was my favorite memory of 2008. We took a road trip over 500 miles when my parents were visiting and saw so many great parts of Alaska and its wildlife. A trip I will never forget.

July - The month of NTC. I really missed family when Jason left this time around, but it was this month that some of my friendships strengthened. I spent almost every day next door at my neighbors house and the month of NTC turned out not being so bad.

August - I was so excited when Jason got home. I pretty much tackled him when I saw him (wow I thought five weeks was long haha). We went on leave this month to California for Matt and Jessica's wedding. We also traveled to Georgia, South Carolina, and Michigan to be with family.

September - We celebrated our one year anniversary. Yay! It was so great to be able to do that before Jason had to leave. Jason left this month for a year. Super sad face. I flew back to Michigan after the condo was packed and began staying with my parents. This was the hardest emotional month I have ever had.

October - I went back to school, began working a new job, and visited my in-laws. This month was about getting into a routine. Nothing too exciting.

November - I cooked Thanksgiving dinner for my family and spent the majority of my time with them. I also started another class this month online which made the month more hectic and overwhelming over anything.

December - Christmas gifts over webcam was the highlight of December! Technology is amazing isn't it? I looked forward mainly to leaving Michigan this month and going to see family in Georgia and South Carolina. The year ends with a kiss over webcam to my hubby! What a lucky girl I am :)

Day One Hundred Two.

It is almost 2009!

To make a resolution or not?

I am not a believer in resolutions so I shouldn't start next year because chances are I could never keep up with it. Hmm...

Day One Hundred One.

I stood in line today for 45 minutes to try on things at Victoria's Secret. I thought I lost my mind at that point, but I couldn't pass up the good deals. I don't think any man would stand in line for that long to try on a pair of underwear haha. I also did some shopping at Ulta and a few other stores. I love the after Christmas sales every year. I was able to find ornaments for our tree next year to decorate in silver with white lights. The other day they were 30% off when I was at the store, and today they were 5% and luckily they had some of the ones I was hoping for left. We will totally have the prettiest tree on the block next year when I get done with it haha.

Day One Hundred.

Well I have finally reached triple digits in this deployment. I couldn't even imagine hitting one hundred on days like two or ten in the beginning and here I am. I still have so many more to go, but like many things it feels like another landmark for this year.

One hundred days also falls on the exact day we got engaged two years ago so two good things on one great day! So I thought I would do a little reminiscing about our engagement...

Jason and I went to see my family in South Carolina right after Christmas of 06 and the day before it happened he kept telling me he wanted to watch the sunset on my grandparents dock sometime. When the day arrived that we were he said he wanted to get pictures of the sunset so I told him "Why don't you go take some pictures and come back and show me (typical haha)." He finally talked me into going too after he told me that he wanted me in the pictures with him. So we walked down to the dock together and onto the floating dock and he wasn't taking pictures ..."Aren't you going to take pictures? Isn't that what we are down here for?" haha. By that point I could tell he was nervous. "Ohhh yea" was his response. He took a few pictures with what I think was a reminder to do so from me ha. We then were watching the sunset and he had his arms around me and he turned me around. We were hugging and he began this speech (later I found out he wrote the whole thing out and practiced it every night before bed haha aww). I dont remember all of it, but it was something about how he needed me in his life and how important I have become to him. I felt him feeling around in his pocket the whole time too and wondered to myself if he was itching haha nope. He then pushed me away a little and dropped to his knee holding the ring up and said "Will you make me the happiest man in the world. Will you marry me?" Awww and with that I responded "Shut up...are you serious?" (Another typical moment from me). I started crying and said yes when I realized it wasn't a joke after all. It turned out perfect and a moment I will never forget. :)

Day Ninety-Nine.

Jason spent a lot of time today making plans for mid tour leave. We are trying to decide on how many days to stay at each place, where to stay in general, what to do, etc. We want to mainly just spend time with each other and not overdo it on things to do during the day, but have the option to do so if we want to. We are now officially half way to mid tour leave. Yay!

I spent today with one of my cousins. We went out to lunch and on one of those tourist carriage rides in downtown Charleston. It was a beautiful day for something like that! We also went shopping,but it was there I decided before I buy anymore clothes I need to seriously get back into shape. So it has been decided after my birthday in two weeks this girl is going on a diet!

Day Ninety-Eight.

I feel like I should have a checklist of holidays to get through during this deployment. Every time I pass one I feel accomplished when I think to myself that next time we will be together for it. I've managed Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas and still have plenty to pass. Hopefully after New Years and my birthday things will feel like more of a home stretch. Holidays are never easy when you spend them apart.

As for Christmas it turned out as good as it gets I guess. My favorite gift was coffee maker and gift card from Jason. He knows me so well and his gifts excited me the most this year. We have been a couple during Christmas since 2005 and have managed to spend two together and two with him in Iraq. Hopefully our Christmas count together starts to take lead and stays that way in the future! :)

Day Ninety-Seven.

Merry Christmas!

Day Ninety-Six.

Well I guess this is as blessed as I get I am on webcam with my husband as the clock turns to Christmas. I hope tomorrow I can deal with all the family gatherings, seeing everyone, the questions about Jason, and of course the million sympathy cards people want to throw my way. Oh boy!

Day Ninety-Five.

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.

Day Ninety-Four.

Am I really that close to 100 days down? Wow! I was just thinking today how less than nine months seems short. Maybe I am totally losing it here, but I was thinking how relieving it was not to have twelve months as if I didn't start off with that. I guess as time passes things seem a little easier.

Day Ninety-Three.

I am undergoing a new look for my blog, but it is taking me some time to figure out everything. In time though it will all come together and Across The Ocean will be much more glamorous.

Today was super relaxing and full of good times. I am enjoying vacation and the time away from the daily grind. One more week and I will be half way to R&R! It is almost close enough to start a countdown for it haha.

I always love a countdown to good things you know. :)

Day Ninety-Two.

Totally sleep deprived! I was sad when I left this morning sitting at a bench waiting on my flight to board I started thinking about the holidays and Jason. I hate how things hit me like that and it makes it so obvious that something is missing in my mind. I wish Jason was next to me on the flight here and helping me lug all the things he complains about that we have to take through the airport including Emmie. I miss the simple stuff and holidays have made my heart feel empty.

I am going to try to keep my spirits up and enjoy time with my family though. Tomorrow we are four wheeling, smoking ribs, and spending time on the land. Totally country totally my roots ;)

Day Ninety-One.

Wouldn't it be my luck that the day I am suppose to be heading to Georgia for two weeks a big storm comes and all flights get cancelled. My brother and I were suppose to leave this afternoon, but luck would have it and now we leave at 5:30am if all goes as planned. I am kind of sad over it because we had plans for tonight with a friend before heading to be with family. Now we will get there and go to our Grandma's house instead of April's for the night.

I did get to talk to Jason this morning though on a day it was unexpected so that always makes things a little brighter. Yesterday he sent me my very own woobie! I now have the warmest blanket in America and I am totally going to try to stuff it in my suitcase and take it with me. He is always thinking about me. :)

I better go get ready so we can leave around 2am. Goodness I am going to be exhausted tomorrow!

Day Ninety.

So today is three years since the beginning of Jason and I. Today marks the day we held a conversation where Jason declared he would be a bachelor forever and I told him I would never date someone in the military. Unfortunately for his "bachelor life" and my 9-5 future husband things turned out differently. :) He is now the love of my life and my husband! I am so glad he was persistent in the chase for me (or as he would say me for him haha soooo not true) because if not we may never have found out how perfect we truly are together.

Ahh. <3

Day Eighty-Nine.

One word.

Amazing.

My life and the people in it.

<3

Day Eighty-Eight.

I love the feeling of looking forward to a phone call or for Jason to sign in online. I am not sure how we went last deployment without the webcam, but it is an amazing little thing. I love when he sets his alarm to wake up early so we can see each other and talk before I go to bed and he has to work. I love how he sometimes signs online just to say goodnight or that he loves me. I am so happy at how connected the internet can make two people on two different sides of the world feel. I still get to see his morning hair sometimes or him wearing his glasses at night before bed. I can show him Emmie playing or being silly and even ask him for the answer to a question in a crossword puzzle It is amazing to be able to still enjoy those things and be so far apart.

Day Eighty-Seven.

I miss my friends. I miss Cassi, Maggie, Melissa of course Kristene, and all the wives that are a part of Jason's company. I miss being able to have that companionship with a friend because they know how I'm feeling inside without saying anything. Maybe I miss companionship altogether. I miss my husband and the people who I have a special bond with in life. I love my family, but I just don't feel like they are getting it. A piece of me is missing and I feel lost without it in place.

Day Eighty-Six.

I miss the mister. <3

Day Eighty-Five.

My MIL called early this morning to let me know they were coming to see me! It was a surprise visit because my list today included a million things to do. They drove the two hours up and we exchanged Christmas gifts and spent some time together. Jason and I bought them two bottles of wine and a few gift cards to different places to go out to eat. They got me an America Express gift card. Ohh shopping! I took them to dinner and then they headed back home before the roads got too bad. It was nice to see them and to have them here since I have been too busy to make it down this month. I always enjoy being around Jason's family because they are a part of him and I fit in so well you know ha. :)

Tomorrow is my Christmas with my parents and brother. Neal and I (ohh and Emmie too!) fly out Friday afternoon to head to Georgia and I will be down south until the beginning of January. It will be a nice little break, but a bittersweet one too to be by myself without Jason since we have been lucky enough to spend the last two together. I'm going to miss him, but cant wait to say it is 2009 the year my husband comes back home!

Day Eighty-Four.

We had Christmas today! It only took a week for Jason's Christmas box to get to him. Yay! I watched Jason open his gifts as I had my morning coffee. I got him the Flip camera, a carrying case for it, the Colbert Christmas DVD, a few trivia books, a couple magazines, snacks, and Heath bars from Emmie to her daddy ha.

Jason got me the Breville Keurig single serving coffee machine ahhh. Since he didn't know which coffee I would like he sent over sixty 5 pack boxes of the K-cups haha. Surprise? No. Needless to say I will be drinking lots of coffee (and tea!) in my new coffee machine. I am so excited! I have been wanting one since we got engaged. :) He also got me a gift card to Coach so I can pick out a purse! Ahh I have an amazing husband who might spoil me...just a little.

<3>

Day Eighty-Three.

I have amazing deployment buddies. They keep my feet on the ground and remind me that I am not alone between a million laughs each night.

<3

Day Eighty-Two.

I am mentally exhausted. I feel like the past few days I have been eating, sleeping, and breathing homework. I finished two of my classes today and one more next week. I am glad to have a majority of homework and finals done so now I can focus on other projects and things I have been wanting to do outside of work other than lame school stuff.

Jason and I decided on R&R and the idea of the location where we are heading to. We did decide on the first few days to stay in downtown Grand Rapids. I am excited just thinking about what we are doing so far!

We talked again today for a few hours. I have been so blessed this past week with being able to have that time to talk and connect on top of a stressful week. It makes things a little easier and brightens any day that I hear from him :)

Day Eighty-One.

I skipped work, took a shower for the day around 3pm, and spent the morning being lazy. Was it worth it?

You bet. I talked to my husband for over FIVE hours today. We talked, cracked jokes, discussed the future, and all while I saw his cute little face on webcam ha. It was a conversation all morning into the afternoon and it was amazing.

:)

Day Eighty.

Jason and I originally planned on Florida for R&R, but now it looks like we will meet in Michigan and then go somewhere else. Where else is the question. We have so many endless possibilities about where we want to go or what we want to do. Should we still go to Florida? Try something else? Don't set anything in stone? I'd like to have a small idea before R&R, but we haven't had time to truly work on it. It is exciting though to have the luxury of doing what we want when he gets here. :)

I got Christmas boxes in the mail today. Yay!!! Jason should be getting his soon and then maybe we can open them soon on cam :) They are starring me in the face just waiting for me to shred them and see what is inside. He should have delayed sending them haha.

Day Seventy-Nine.

Sunday you suck.

I have spent twelve Sundays so far away from Jason since he left and they are the worst days. I think I have too much time to myself on Sunday between homework and accomplishing everything for a new week to begin. What will I do when school starts or even vacation in a few weeks? Eeek!

I feel like Sunday puts me in a slump. It is the only day I feel on the verge of a breakdown or upset with the situation. I guess one out of seven days is better than every day huh.

Day Seventy-Eight.

The thought of being with you tomorrow gives me the strength to go on today. <3

Day Seventy-Seven.

Ive been cleaning out the good ol' friendship closest and it feels great. There are a few people in my life who at one point played a huge impact or at one point were a very close friend, but in time some things do change and people grow apart or drift apart for many reasons. In this past week I have given a final farewell to two friendships that at one point were strong figures in my life and in the end didn't stand the test of time. It feels good to finally feel at ease with the ending of both of them and if it feels kike this it must have been the right thing to do. I still have many amazing friends in my life who I know will be there for years and years to come and of course my best friend for life(my husband silly face).

Ahh. :)

Day Seventy-Six.

Make that three.

It has been amazing talking to Jason the past three nights on webcam. It feels so good to see him and his smile. Hopefully the internet continues to work and we will be able to have better communication.

I sent out Jason's gift today finally and another box for the guys with beef jerky and a stocking for a new guy coming into the squad around Christmas time. I have my fingers crossed they all get them before the 25th. Whenever it works out J and I are going to wait to open gifts until we can together over webcam. That will be nice and hopefully make Christmas a little easier.

Other than that I am busy with work, company Christmas party, volunteering, and an exam this weekend. Wow what fun!

Did I mention I see my favorite in just about four months. Ahh I know that isn't tomorrow or anything, but ti seems much closer now that a quarter of this deployment is almost knocked out. Yay!

Day Seventy-Five.

Jason + two nights of webcam = Heaven.

That is all :)

Day Seventy-Four.

Never to suffer would be never to have been blessed. <3

Day Seventy-Three.

So it is one of those days. I know I over analyze and I worry about things. I think it comes with the separation and the emotional toll it plays on you after awhile. I feel like the past few phone calls have been a strain of some sort. I know I am overplaying this in my head, but I feel too emotional. I sometimes expect more emotion from Jason or expect him to know I need that comfort when really he cant give it to me because he doesn't know how to express it let alone be a mind reader. I know he is busy and it breaks my heart to know he doesn't get any time off or is as tired as he sounds most days. My husband hasn't had any time for cards, letters, online chats, etc and the phone calls are a few a week lately and I am so appreciative of that. I know no matter what the situation is it could always be a lot worse. I guess I just feel like I want to hear how missed I am too or have him express that to me when it just isn't possible some days.