22 March 2009

Day One Hundred Eighty-Four.

I have read a lot of military related books and so far I have felt most of them have done a good job at relating to the situation or making me feel like my life is completely normal haha. However, today I finished 365 Deployment Days and I have to say I really wasn't impressed.
I believe the author had good points on what deployment does to you and how you feel during, but I was very sad at how often she said she felt her marriage was over. She said she felt detached from her husband and was pretty sure she could go about life without him. I know how it feels to feel disconnected or detached after not having much communication, but never have I thought of continuing my life like that when Jason comes home or has the thought crossed my mind that my marriage was done. I was sad to see Sara so often say her marriage was. I can understand some women may feel this way, but I almost felt like to her husband it had to be a blow.

Deployment takes a toll no doubt, but is one that I think develops into personal growth and growth within a relationship. I would be heartbroken to think my feelings when I feel disconnected would lead to thinking my marriage was over like she so often did.

Has anyone else read it?!


jlc said...

Wow that author must have a really bad marriage then. Geez I can't imagine reading a book like that espesh DURING a deployment!

Not sure if I believe any of those books though... I'm convinced all of us should put our blogs together and make a REAL book. The way it really is, etc.

Then again each deployment is different for each wife.

J.L.S. said...

Yikes! There were many nights that I sat on the computer with my husband, neither of us talking to the other because there just wasn't anything to said that hadn't been said already. We have sat like that for hours before. It feels better to sit with him in silence than to not hear from him. But, there were nights it would hurt my feelings that we were so disconnected. But, never ONCE did I take it to the step of saying I felt like my marriage was over!

I don't think I could have read that during a deployment! I need uplifting, happy thoughts and mindless reads! :)

High Heels & Combat Boots said...

I'd kinda like to read it, but I'm not sure that's a good idea! PS-I left you a treat on my blog!

d.a.r. said...

I don't read those books because they are all so pathetic and depressing: "my life is over, our marriage is falling apart, blah blah blah". No thanks!

Post Tenebras Lux said...

Hey =). I haven't read the book, but I just ran across your blog and we are about at the same place in our deployment calendar, so I thought I'd say hi.

Megan said...

I haven't read it but i don't think it would EVER cross my mind to think our marriage was over after only 1 year! Not even for more than one year (if he had to be gone that long but thankfully he's not) What a terrible mind set to have for a wife during her husband's deployment!

I'm with J.L.C. All of our blogs = the best deployment book ever!

Katie said...

I haven't read that one and I can't believe she said that! I can't imagine what her husband must think reading the book and seeing how often she said that.

One that I read a few years back but isn't Army related is Going Overboard The Misadventures of A Military Wife . I don't remember much of it but I remember not being able to put it down! I also read Under the Sabers and loved that. I have a ton more but have yet to open them up. haha.

(army)Wife said...

I haven't read it, but I'm not sure I would want to now. There are some days I feel stronger and more independant while Stonewall is deployed, but I think that has more to do with us being such a strong married couple and knowing we can get through this deployment rather than it being because I think I can get on without Stonewall. I would think the author's husband would have been pretty devastated to read that. That he has no real profound impact of his wife.

ABW said...

Hmmmm...I haven't heard of that book. I can't imagine saying that my marriage was over after a year, geez, he's been deployed for a year FOUR times! I'm with JLC, a compilation book with motivating blogs about him being away and making yourself better would be far more beneficial!