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18 May 2009

Day Two Hundred Forty-One.

Maybe it is something more major like all the recent events of this weekend or something more minor like our phone call being disconnected today and not hearing back from him, but my gosh am I freakin' emotional tonight. I took my mom to the airport this afternoon so she could go be with the family for my great grandma's funeral and my dad is out of town on business this week. So an empty house and just me and might I mention how quiet it is? Blah. I honestly think with everything I am doing right now to prepare for my move back to Alaska along with the stresses of the economy pushing me more at work I feel just overwhelmed. I sometimes feel bad that I can even use that term because I know Jason has a lot more on his plate than I could ever have,but I just feel like sometimes I am cracking. I sometimes wish he was emotionally available to me when I need someone to talk to or when I am feeling down. I miss being able to have him atleast a phone call away if he wasn't coming home at night. Things just seem like they are hitting a funk for me this week. Is it the eight month funk because I thought it would be a much better only 1/3 left to go type of funk? I just don't know but I do hope tomorrow is better. :)

6 comments:

J.L.S. said...

I definitely hit a 7 month funk... so it is entirely possible. You have come so far, but it still feels like far too long to go. And it does get overwhelming. Try not to feel guilty for the way you feel... you have to own up to those feelings to get anywhere! Keep your chin up... I have faith you'll snap out of it soon!

Crazy Shenanigans said...

I've hit this funk before....it'll pass! You can do this. I'm sure everything is ok over there with him and that the phones just went down. He'll be home in a few months and you won't have to worry! Stay strong!

lola said...

You've had a rough couple days hun! I was just reading a really interesting article in TIME that talked about how our society has programmed us to basically think that we're supposed to be happy happy joy joy all the time and not be sad over the speedbumps we hit.

Call a friend and make things less quiet. Put some music on or run the tv. I know it won't ever replace having him and/or family around but it will help make you feel less alone. Keep your head up -- you'll get through it!

Mrs. G.I Joe said...

Awe sweetheart, I'm so sorry:( I have definitely hit moments like that, however for different reasons, where I felt like I couldn't take anymore...Mostly it was about money and needing more of it to pay bills and such...Its no fun and all you feel like doing it screaming...At least thats what it made me feel....But the good news is, it goes away! One morning you wake and decide its going to be a GOOD day because the sun is shining and your tired of being down...But until then, things I would do is take a relaxing bath with candles, go outside and hit up a hiking trial, treat myself to a good cup of coffee and a good book, go watch a movie and make sure to get eat popcorn, candy and soda:p Lay out in the sun ( that actually is medically proven to improve your moods) Not gonna give you the whole down low on that but its veery interesting! You should look it up sometime:) Hugz you! You'll get through this soon:)

365 Days of Army Life in Pictures said...

Well it could be the 2nd deployment blues type of funk. Anytime we get the "pleasure" of going through more than one, it's gotta play tricks on our minds. I hope your days and week gets better! Good thing this blogging stuff is hmm? We get to vent, and then read each other's frustrations to find out we aren't alone thankfully. I HATED the disconnecting of the phones, the blackouts, the delay, the noises in the background, you name it...I hated it. Glad to know I'm not the only who who experienced them too.
I just found your blog through More Than An (Army) Wife and love reading your posts. It's hard finding "normal" Army wives I suppose. lol Hard to explain it, but sometimes I wonder if I'm talking to a robot these days. Keep your head up girl, you've come this far!

Mrs R said...

Don't feel bad for feeling bad. Stay strong and it will be over before you know it.