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20 May 2009

Day Two Hundred Forty-Three.

Well today marks eight months. Every mark of another month up until this point has seemed like an accomplishment. Today though I feel like marking month eight still feels like no end is in sight. I am trying to stay positive and not be bitter about how I am feeling, but honestly I am lost. The past few days have been emotional and although sometimes the picture looks like the homecoming is in the near future to me it feels so far fetched. Ive hit a funk. It isn't the beginners funk I felt when he left or the holiday funk at Christmas it is just simple sadness. I have for the past eight months found the strength to pick myself up off the ground when I feel overwhelmed by everything, but now I just feel bored with all the options to pick me up again. I really am hoping this too shall pass because I really need the strength for the now I am here all alone in Alaska again funk that will probably occur by mid-July. Hopefully by then counting down to an ending will feel like something is really occurring and not just dragging along.

8 comments:

jlc said...

Woo hoo congrats on hitting that mark!!

Crazy Shenanigans said...

You can do it girl! That's so great that your already to that mark!!!

Mrs. G.I Joe said...

I'm sorry to hear your down hun:( I know for me, sometimes I just need to be down and wallow, but then afterwards when I feel like I've had enough time to be sad I'm okay and it really isn't that hard pulling myself up by the boot straps so to speak. Doing this while you WANT to be down is the hardest thing:p So don't! Lol...Probably sounds stupid...But it works for me...Luckily this doesn't happen all the time...Then I might have to think of a different plan because who wants to be down six days out of a week! I hope this gets better with tomorrows daylight? Sunshine is another mood killer:p But in a good way!

Anonymous said...

I feel you. Only my husband just left. I love reading your blog. I am right there with you...only 7 months behind. Consider yourself lucky to be so far ahead!

Sara said...

I feel like the 8th month funk is common...I know I hit it and so have many others. Just like you said, it's the "We've come so far, but still has a ways to go" feeling. The good news is, the part that follows the 8th month funk is the home stretch! And you should look at it as getting to experience Alaska at it's absolute most beautiful and having time to soak it all in : )

(army)Wife said...

OMG! You're right - 8 months!! I can't believe we're at 8 months already.

I'm sorry you're in a funk. I hope you start feeling better soon.

New Girl on Post said...

I think you are doing great, but I'm sorry you are feeling a little down right now.

Just think how close you are getting to the end!

Kiki said...

When I got to the "last four months" funk, I found something that was happening in each month, for example, wedding in november, Christmas in december, friend visiting in January,etc. And just tried to make it to that next milestone. Time went a lot faster for me that way!

I have a feeling that once you get busy preparing for the move back to Alaska, time will start to fly, and then when you're there by yourself, you probably won't be in a funk, because, hello, the reason you are there is because Jason is coming home!!!