Day Two Hundred Fifty-Four.

"We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face."

-Eleanor Roosevelt

Day Two Hundred Fifty-Three.

I was such a good doggy mama today. I got up pretty early and drove down to a big dog event with Emmie. I scored major points in her best parent book (yes Jason and I compete for our dog's love haha) and she enjoyed it. Lots of free food, treats, toys, and plenty of dogs to go around. It was a good time and the weather was beautiful. She completely passed out when we got back in the car on the drive home. It was a fun day...for a dog. ;)

***Also if I am not subscribed to your blog please let me know. I try so hard to keep up with all of my readers and I know sometimes I may accidentally miss some of my new readers when they subscribe. Just leave me a note and I will follow you. Thanks!

Day Two Hundred Fifty-Two.

So what do you think of the new look of Across the Ocean?! :)

Many many MANY thanks to Becca at Lovely Yellow Ribbons who is a busy bee like me planning a move and waiting for her hubby to come home and still found the time to help me out. She is amazing!

Day Two Hundred Fifty-One.

Flashback!

We look SO extremely young here...

...and it was only three years ago.

April 2006: R&R the first time around.

I think the Army is aging us ;)

Day Two Hundred Fifty.

250 days later and I still miss him like I did on the first one. <3

Day Two Hundred Forty-Nine.

I received an email this morning. Not just any email but an email with a date range that Jason could be home!!! A redeployment email!

Although it is subject to change I was hoping soon we would hear something and today was the day. It is a little sooner than I expect him back and that makes me super happy. It makes the ending of this actually seem closer and the homestretch of summer to be the last of it. :)

The email made my whole day confirming leave dates and ceremonies. I also heard from Jason and that just made my day twice as nice.

Yay for good news Tuesday!

Day Two Hundred Forty-Eight.

It is the Soldier, not the minister

Who has given us freedom of religion.

It is the Soldier, not the reporter

Who has given us freedom of the press.

It is the Soldier, not the politician

Who has given us the right to vote.

It is the Soldier who salutes the flag,

Who serves beneath the flag,

And whose coffin is draped by the flag,

Who allows the protester to burn the flag.

God bless America and our Armed Forces♥

Day Two Hundred Forty-Seven.

Retail therapy is always a mood booster...

I am in the market for some new cookware. We have been planning for a few years now to replace our pink cookware set. Of course I like it although pink may not be too fitting for our turquoise and brown kitchen or for Jason haha. We would like to have something more durable and long lasting like stainless steel. My heart is leaning towards Emerilware. I love the solid feel and durability it has. I found a set today while I was out shopping with my mom and came so close to buying it, but thought I should talk it over with my husband before I splurged.

Just waiting on the green light haha.

Day Two Hundred Forty-Six.

This past week has been so frustrating with phone calls from Jason. He isn't the source of frustration it is the generators! For three days in a row we had phone calls that were cut off mid conversation and yesterday our first attempt at an online conversation was also shortened. However, tonight he called and we talked for almost thirty minutes. A whole half an hour of conversation that had an ending and time for an I love you. Nothing is more frustrating that the amount of attempts we have made to finish a conversation form the previous day only to end again in the same manner the next. Hopefully soon someone will figure out the generator and they will have power for more than twenty minute rotations during the day.

Another deployment perk....oh the sarcasm. :)

Day Two Hundred Forty-Five.

"I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today."

-William Allen White

Day Two Hundred Forty-Four.

It is official! I signed the lease yesterday with the owner of the condo I was looking at. I will be moving into our new place next month. That is some good news for all my blues lately and one less thing to worry about before I leave.

Yay for Home Sweet Second Home!

Day Two Hundred Forty-Three.

Well today marks eight months. Every mark of another month up until this point has seemed like an accomplishment. Today though I feel like marking month eight still feels like no end is in sight. I am trying to stay positive and not be bitter about how I am feeling, but honestly I am lost. The past few days have been emotional and although sometimes the picture looks like the homecoming is in the near future to me it feels so far fetched. Ive hit a funk. It isn't the beginners funk I felt when he left or the holiday funk at Christmas it is just simple sadness. I have for the past eight months found the strength to pick myself up off the ground when I feel overwhelmed by everything, but now I just feel bored with all the options to pick me up again. I really am hoping this too shall pass because I really need the strength for the now I am here all alone in Alaska again funk that will probably occur by mid-July. Hopefully by then counting down to an ending will feel like something is really occurring and not just dragging along.

Day Two Hundred Forty-Two.

I'm so proud of this guy <3

Today he reenlisted. :)

I love you mister and can't wait to see where this journey takes us and especially you in your career!

Day Two Hundred Forty-One.

Maybe it is something more major like all the recent events of this weekend or something more minor like our phone call being disconnected today and not hearing back from him, but my gosh am I freakin' emotional tonight. I took my mom to the airport this afternoon so she could go be with the family for my great grandma's funeral and my dad is out of town on business this week. So an empty house and just me and might I mention how quiet it is? Blah. I honestly think with everything I am doing right now to prepare for my move back to Alaska along with the stresses of the economy pushing me more at work I feel just overwhelmed. I sometimes feel bad that I can even use that term because I know Jason has a lot more on his plate than I could ever have,but I just feel like sometimes I am cracking. I sometimes wish he was emotionally available to me when I need someone to talk to or when I am feeling down. I miss being able to have him atleast a phone call away if he wasn't coming home at night. Things just seem like they are hitting a funk for me this week. Is it the eight month funk because I thought it would be a much better only 1/3 left to go type of funk? I just don't know but I do hope tomorrow is better. :)

Day Two Hundred Forty.

Good weekend events:
-Dinner and wine with an old friend.
-Laying in bed and reading my book.
-Hearing from Jason.
-Finding out our date to leave Alaska was changed to the spring of 2010 instead of the middle of winter.

Bad weekend events:
-My great grandma passing away this morning.
-Finding out that the end of this deployment is more than likely later than we expected.
-Not being able to put together the birthday box I was exactly hoping to do for Jason's birthday. Side note: He has a fabulous present from me still, but I cant say what until the end of the first week of June. ;)
-Checking familywatchdog.us for my new condo.

Yep it is going to be a long week.

Day Two Hundred Thirty-Nine.

I have a love/hate relationship with the weekend.

Sometimes I feel so exhausted from the week that by the time it gets here I am so thankful.

Other times I feel the most lonely during those two days and sad about the situation.

What gives?!

:)

Day Two Hundred Thirty-Eight.

So I think all my bitching the other day about not being able to find housing that wasn't "Last Frontier Alaska" style paid off haha.

I found a place less than a block away from our previous condo so it is in the same neighborhood and close to post. We would really be downsizing to be able to live there because it is a small town home and two bedrooms and pretty cramped living space compared to what we have been use to. It is however newly modeled with a great owner and it isn't permanent (just until next spring when we PCS).

I have been weighing the pros and cons for the past few days...
Cons:
-Paying for laundry
-Not being able to use my fabulous washer and dryer
-Two bedrooms and not much storage
-Tiny kitchen
-Common area
-Storage in the second room will take up Jason's video gaming space(which means I have to hear and watch it downstairs while I make dinner haha jk)
-No yard for Emmie to run and play in
-Parking in the driveway during the winter so we can use the garage as storage

Pros:
-Within our budget
-It isn't forever
-It is close enough to post for J to still come home on lunch and after PT
-It is a block away from my best friend there
-It isn't Alaska frontier style
-We use to live in the same neighborhood so we are familiar with it

I have more cons listed but honestly the fact that Jason can come home after PT and crawl back into bed for a little bit or to stop by for lunch is the selling point. If we lived further away he probably wouldn't be able to do that often and being closer allows him to come home when he wants to.

Soooo I was going to hold off until I was able to tell Jason this, but OUR APPLICATION GOT ACCEPTED!!! :)

Day Two Hundred Thirty-Seven.

I love phone calls where Jason and I can tell each other jokes and talk about nonsense. Usually we are so pushed for a little time to discuss finances, his job, my job, and everything in between that it leaves us with very little time to just discuss funny things in the news or talk about our favorite mutual funny topic; Stephen Colbert. As my work day was finishing today Jason called. He was about to finish guard and thought he would sneak in and give me a call before he got off duty and went to bed. We talked a little about housing but for the most part the phone call was full of laughs. It makes things feel so much easier when you forget the whirlwind around you and just connect on a level like that for a little while. :)

Day Two Hundred Thirty-Six.

"Destiny is no matter of chance. It is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved."

-W. Jennings Bryan

Day Two Hundred Thirty-Five.

I have six weeks until I move back to Alaska and I am starting to worry about finding housing. I was in high hopes by starting early I would find something reasonable and go ahead with the application and lease before I get back. That idea however is going out the window as I search for something that is not "Last Frontier Alaska" aka wood paneling and log cabin.

The funniest part is thinking of moving back to Alaska and planning another move down to the lower 48 and all the way across the country in less than a year. Hopefully that will bring more excitement than stress. Thank goodness Jason will be around for that one! :)

Day Two Hundred Thirty-Four.

Happy Monday!

I have six more work Monday's until I move...not that I am counting or anything haha.

I got up early enough this morning to do some yoga before I had my morning coffee and got ready for work. I usually don't plan enough time to do that, but today I was able to fit it in and I felt great. I may try to do it again tomorrow.

I also was able to run tonight for the first time since Jason being home and having my surgery. The weather was finally great and it was refreshing. I just need to get back to my workout routine after my post-op appointment tomorrow.

Ohh yes and hearing from Jason today when I was getting ready for work was a double bonus for a Monday. :)

Day Two Hundred Thirty-Three.

No matter how hard this year so far has been for me my mom has been nothing but supportive and always here for me to lend a shoulder for me to cry on or just to listen. I know I can call her at all hours of the night and during the day just to talk when we are 4,000 miles apart and she never will complain. It is times like this deployment I realize even more so how important she is in my life each and every day. Through the years of growing up she has turned out to be not just my mom but my best friend. I can only hope to one day be the mom she has been to my brother and I.

Happy Mama's Day to all the other moms! :)

Day Two Hundred Thirty-Two.

Nothing is more satisfying than going to bed at night and feeling completely happy with life. <3

Day Two Hundred Thirty-One.

Happy Military Spouse Appreciation Day!!!

-or-

You Put Up With A Lot Of Crap Day haha jk. :)

Day Two Hundred Thirty.

When Jason first left I thought I would have plenty of time to finish projects and most importantly learn how to sew. I have been begging for a sewing machine for a few years now and for my birthday (in January ha) Jason sent me one with everything I would need. Good hubby!However, I haven't had the time to sit down and learn. After work I go take care of Emmie, have dinner, workout, go back to the house, shower, get ready for bed. By the time my day really ends it is past 9:00pm. All the time I thought I would have to learn just hasn't happened. I enjoy my routine now because it really is keeping me busy and before I know it each week it is the weekend. I am looking forward to going back to Alaska though and spending some me time teaching myself to finally use my sewing machine, finish the apron I started embroidering, finish our scrapbooks, and make a fleece blanket. I just don't feel like in the past eight months I have had that time to really throw myself into my crafts like I usually do. That could be a good thing too though meaning time is really passing!

I also know since Jason saw the sewing machine still in the box on his leave he hasn't let me live it down haha. By the time he gets home I seriously better be queen of sewing. ;)

Day Two Hundred Twenty-Nine.

"Success not on your own terms, if it looks good to the world but does not feel good in your heart, is not success at all."

-Anna Quindlen

Day Two Hundred Twenty-Eight.

I think we are moving towards a decision on what is next. We talked today and it seems like Jason knows what would be best for the future. I think at this point we are going to just talk a little bit more when he can call and just hop on board and experience it for ourselves. I know no matter which choice he were to make it will be a challenge for us to get use to something new, but especially for him to be settled into a new everything. I do know with all the struggles and the what ifs that have and will come with this we have been through far worse and we totally have this. I am actually kind of excited to find out what the future holds!

Just for fun if you could live in any state which would you pick and why? :)

Day Two Hundred Twenty-Seven.

I have been researching like a mad woman three possibilities (drill, recruiting, TOG) that we have been discussing for Jason to do next with his career. Would it be sad if I said at this point I don't like all of them haha!? I have been doing a lot of reading to see what other wives say and no one has said "We love it!" or "It is a great job!" Everything has an and or a but in it and many of the wives seem negative or resentful of their husband's job. The only thing I like about the choices are all are non-deployable (and here comes the but on my behalf), but each one of them requires long intense hours, weekends, twelve plus hour days, etc. After two deployments it seems like all of these options would be wonderful because my husband wouldn't be back overseas for at least a few years. On the other hand he wont have those four day weekends, the amount of leave he can take now, and to be home every day around 5pm or so, etc with his current job when he is home. I just feel so torn about what is best for us and especially him. Do we just dive in and see for ourselves how one of them turns out or do we listen to the caution signs? Sometimes I wonder if we should just risk going to a new duty station without changing anything and keep our fingers crossed that we have a little time together before he ends up back overseas. I just don't know and wish the answer was more simple.

The Army is stressing me out. :)

Day Two Hundred Twenty-Six.

May is feeling like the beginning of the home stretch. Could it be?! Not so much since I still have a good 38% to go, but it is feeling within reach. I am already starting to prepare to head back to Alaska and I am now in the market to find a new place to move into NEXT month. Eeek!

I hope once I get there and get settled time will fly by as I prepare for Jason to get back in the early fall.

I also hope time continues to feel like it is going quickly for me although I know those last few weeks will feel like foooorever. :)

Anyone else feeling a home stretch?!

Day Two Hundred Twenty-Five.

Deciding on what Jason wants to do next and where we hope to go can be stressful. We have been doing a lot of talking lately about what our next chapter will be. Our hope is Jason will be non-deployable for awhile with a new job title and we can begin a family. I also think he is ready for a little break and to try something new. Most of all right now we are wondering where we will go after Alaska. We are excited to one day get orders (maybe in the super near future) and plan our new adventure at the beginning of next year. I a super grateful for the chance the Army gives us to move, see the country (sometimes the world), and the pride it gives me for the sacrifices and dedication my husband gives each day. However, lately I have been hoping for a slight break after this deployment where we can skip on all the prep work knowing there is another deployment like last time and just focus on us and enjoy each other. I feel sad some days that I feel like J is missing out on a piece of my life that is not replaceable and I for him. So my hope is where ever we go next that we are able to enjoy a little time together without the stresses of our next separation and/or deployment For a little while I would just like to share my life with my other half. :)

Day Two Hundred Twenty-Four.

You know how they say dogs are man's best friend? That they are loyal to "their people" and can boost happiness just by petting them? Lots of studies out there. Anyways, I just have to give a little credit to Emmie. When I got home yesterday she jumped onto the couch, sniffed my mouth, and laid right next to me. Since I got home she has been checking on me and sticking by my side. She usually doesn't nap during the day, but if I sleep and wake up she is right there with me. She can be a bit of a pain some days and a little hard headed and with all of that it is days like today I am glad she is my "daug"ther haha.