Emmie and Eli, our precious dogs, two tiny creatures full of love that were at one time as close to kids as we were told we would ever be.
When I became pregnant the dogs started fighting. They went from best friends to the occasional scraping over small things. We enlisted a dog trainer to help us figure out what the issue was (protective over me much?) and to help them get ready for the baby. She was helpful and we made lots of great improvements getting ready for Baby J to arrive. When he did come and we brought him home both of them were standoffish. They minded their own business and left him alone. From time to time Eli would give him kisses and as he became mobile Eli would enjoy the occasional puff on the floor to eat.
We thought things were going well although stressful for me as things with a baby, a husband home one day a week, commitments, and two pups that needed a lot of attention. Eli became standoffish even more so with Dean as if he felt uncomfortable. Emmie and Eli would still have the occasional fight over something small and often times I felt I was getting up or not able to relax because of the tension or worry over D.
...And then it happened.
We do not know because it was so quick, but Eli snapped at D. Emmie jumped down attacked Eli and D left with a small mark on his face. I cried. I cried for a long time. Eli sat outside, J put him in a pin, and he was gone.
He was gone.
He couldn't be trusted any longer and D came first. My cousins who live up the street took him in for the night and I reached out to whoever I could on Facebook about rehoming him. The next night he left for Savannah, GA.
He's in a home now with someone who has promised to love him as much as the love he has to give her. She is single, no kids, no boyfriend, living in an apartment, working nights. It was the best choice I could make that fast. Since I have been heartbroken. Life without Eli isn't the same. I feel a little less stressed but a whole lot of guilt. Guilt I gave up on him too soon, guilt he will be alone for the first time in his life tonight while she works, guilt he wonders when he is coming home, guilt Emmie is without him and vice versa, guilt that I won't see him again or don't know when I will see him again. Then there is this sadness. Sadness that he is not showing off his toys to me, sadness he isn't here to take our walk every night, sadness that he isn't first downstairs in the morning excited about breakfast, sadness that he isn't waiting for me to make a move in the morning, and sadness that I feel less needed. Emmie just does her own thing and doesn't need that attention that Eli needed.
Dogs impact your life for the good and no matter how they leave it still hurts. They are a family member. A four legged family member that if you leave behind for five minutes or five hours it is all the same they are just as excited to see you either way.